When honesty is a tool of fools
Ethic note on sincerity
Sincerity may turn into the tool of fools when is a mask to hide a fear, a limit, or something you have to vomit to make another person weak.
Or because you cannot bear the burden of what you have inside.
All this process is pretending to be merged into words as “sharing” and “facing”, to grow up and to became a better person and to know each other.
But when really sincerity is useful?
When it is conceived not as a weapon to hurt anybody. When it comes out from your heart and you look at it as a tool of altruism not of egotism.
It is like when you cheat on your partner.
If you are going to pass through it you do not need to tell it.
If you tell it you are not sincere, you are just a fool, because you know, a part from some examples, every time you confess you are a cheater is just you the one who is relieved. Now the game is on the other person.
From this point of view your being honest means you are fool and selfish, because you need the shoulder of another person to bear your own burden.
The only thing that maybe diverge from this attitude is when the need to confess proceeds to the fact your relationship has come to a dead end and you need a sharp knife for the final cut.
In this case, you can argue on the method, not the real outcome: love is ended up and a betrayal is its epiphany.
Over a friendship relation or social relationships there are some invisible borders sometimes you need not to cross and you need to know how to do it. What makes the difference, indeed, is HOW.
The exception is you want to be sincere to control or manipulate a person.
This is a typical trait of a sincere persons, claiming at their right they can’t die if they do not tell it.
This is crab. Really.
You do not have to hurt people to affirm you are sincere.
And more, you try to close up people into labels, another tool to control them, to know what and who you are your facing at.
I know this is useful because it belongs to the building up of a society to deal with people labelling them under categories, as we are not monads.
Does every confession need an absolution? So, what are your sins?
To recognize a limit and in dealing with people you are scared to show it up so, you vomit what you perceived from others, instead of putting yourself naked on the floor.
There is a time to choose silence if you are not able to find a fair way.
There is a time to speak it up.
But remember when you are going to share what you think to make yourself comfortable, consider always the person who are addressing to and, above all, what you are going to do:
is it my talking just a projection of my fears or of nay kind of frustrations?
That is the question.
Beware your being honest when it may turn out in the need of finding a guilt besides yourself.
