Inverse canon for 2.0 children
An ironic and politically (in)correct childhood manifesto for parents.
Inverse canon is a feature of music. Precisely it means a composition in which the second voice is playing in a manner contrary to the antecedent voice.
In writing my inverse manifesto for 2.0 children, I was inspired by the further shot I saw at the restaurant: at table with mom, dad and a holding-watching-mobile video toddler.
All right, this was just a kind of acme, because something inside me was working to arrive and outline this hilarious set of rules within the following lines.
I would like you to read them with a smile upon your face.
I would like you not to feel anything but reflective in going through these lines.
My voice might be your voice, because I’m a mother, an “acrobatic” working mother, always struggling for the best for her children.
One
Right away, expose your children to the tiny radiations of any kind of IT devices.
This operation will impact on children neural connections and, growing up, they will diminish what you scare the most: their ability to objection.
Two
Prevent your children requests.
Always guess the direction of their eyes towards a toy, the tenth slime or whatever they are looking at. Buy them without feeling guilty to exalt your children sense of omnipotence. Your kids will the best at “to have” verb conjugation.
Three
Cut the use of the language at few possible verbs (possible three).
They are children. Aren’t they? Why do you have to stress them with the plenty of words your language is proud of?
Four
Say yes to play-station. let them be “social”.
No limits allowed to it and also to your children social networks presence. Let them be on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube. Let them express their proper way Andy Warhol’s prediction:
“In future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes”.
Five
Say yes to your children tastes conformity.
Same clothes, same shoes, same outfits…same mindset. Do that and you surely will avoid the headshrinker because nobody will make your kid feel different.
Six
Say yes to aaallll your children requests..
Specially when these last few are in the shape of pretenses. Your children will become a demanding and nagging adult in order to obtain what they deserve and want.
Seven
Least but no last: say no, no matter what, to:
books, playing together creating something amazing, comics, art exhibitions, museums, walking barefoot, running in park all the way, getting dirty.
All these activities might create addiction.
