How to say goodbye
Tiny notes upon the evolution of the way to say the hardest words
You never know how surprising it is until you join the dots wearing your scientific overcoat on the topic.
As for any relationship the real issue is how to declare it is over.
You know that, but you want not to see it. And this another easy way to step aside things we are supposed not to bare.
How can you say your partner is over without hurting?
How to find a way to save something pretending to be friends, eventually?
It is real the bitter one! And the strategy the brain uses it procrastination until you are forced to face reality.
Whenever you find the nerve to show up and say what you must say, making a favour to the other person involved in the relation, the hardest words (Sorry, it’ over, we are done…) can be “expressed” in different ways such as the three below.
First case-study: Marina e Ulay
In 1998, when they realised their relationship was coming to an end, Marina Abramovich and Ulay decided to perform their goodbye. How? They would have driven along the Chines wall starting from the two opposite edges. The purpose? To meet in the middle, hugging and saying goodbye. Period.
Second case-study: Isabelle e Daniel
In 1995 Isabelle Adjani is pregnant. The father? The passionate and shaded Daniel Day Lewis. He was not ready or simply he used this pregnancy as a leverage, the fact is he left Isabelle via fax. He wrote the message himself, we have to admit. And then, nothing. Or better a struggle for the acknowledgement of the son. But this is another story….and yet Daniel has been an unconscious pioneer…
Third case-study: Me, you, whoever
Supposing there is a me and you meeting on Facebook. We chat. We send each other unequivocal emoticons. We wish each other the good starting of the day, via messenger. We click the like botton, we react to our mutual pictures (or whatever) on their wall. Well, how do we say goodbye?
We block each other to enter our virtual or social media world.
No words yelled at the phone.
No heartbreaking meeting to listen: “Look, it’s over” .
No. Because when you block someone you are telling him: “I’m ejecting you out of my new way of living life: virtually”.
By blocking someone you are making a statement on how you are alone, not bold or determined in saying goodbye.
Conclusion
Maybe none of use will have the chance of Marina and Ulay.
And still on that Daniel’s fax there was a sing of identity, his handwriting..a humankind footprint. But today?
Today even the hardest words are deprived of their importance.
Even saying goodbye is a click.
A huge confirmation of a coming back to a since-the-begininning-solitude.
